Leaders I Look -"ed" Too

Growing up, we’re often asked the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? 

According to Today (2025), children are often asked what they want to be when they grow up as early as preschool. I mean what??? I can't even decide what to make myself for dinner, let alone what I want to be when I grow up. The poor kids!

But really, when you think about it, what does this question really even mean? And why are we asking it at such an incredibly young age?

Of course, this question acts as one of those foundational questions adults ask young kids to help spark some sort of inspiration or curiosity amongst themselves, but what does this question really lead their minds to the possibility of exploring?

Were pushed in a way at such a young age to have a definitive answer to a question that can hold a lot of pressure and weight on us. I mean, there’s a doctor, a veterinarian, a firefighter, maybe a journalist, or maybe a basketball player. The options can quite honestly feel endless and at times incredibly overwhelming, especially when were asked this at such a young age. Not to mention the overwhelming amount of pressure we get when we're in high school to pick a college, choose a major, when we're barely exposed to all the career possibilities that are out there. Even then, if we make the choice to stay close to home, explore opportunities society unfortunately deems as wrong, or attend a smaller college were still faced with the feeling that we might be missing out or that the choice we made is somehow wrong.

While the question "what do you want to be when you grow up" acts as an ignition, a trigger in a sense, or a tiny spark to explore what could possibly become a future career, as we get older, the question begins to hold much more power than just a simple light.

It becomes a bit heavier. A bit more real. And a bit more alive.

It starts to feel less like imagination or a dream and more like an expectation.

Now, let me ask you this question. When you think of the word “boss,” where does your mind go? Do you think scary? Important? In charge, maybe? Do you think of your own current boss? Do you think of past bosses, from past jobs, and the experiences you had with them? How they managed their team, delegated tasks, handled conflict, or even spoke to their employees. No two bosses we get to work with will ever be the same. There will always be better leaders than others, and unfortunately for the "bosses," inherently, people's points of view of them can get a bad wrap simply because of their title.

However, there are so many other titles we can use to name “the boss” than just “the boss.” Maybe a leader. A mentor. An instructor. A coach. A guide. A more positive take on the one leading a team. You see, while, yes, titles can mean the same or completely different things, each of them holds and possesses different expectations, goals, and visions.

The title boss focuses more on being authoritative and in control. Their leadership style typically might look more directive or transactional. An "I" or "me" focus, if you will. A leader's role tends to focus more on inspiring, motivating, and guiding others on their teams to achieve goals they might have. To them its about how they can help build trust, collaboration, and growth amongst teams in order for their employees to push themselves beyond limits.

The main difference? One manages, and one inspires.

But what makes a "great boss" an amazing leader? Or a boss a leader? What makes them worthy of a title change that possesses just a bit more of a positive influence?

Because maybe when we’re asked what we want to be when we grow up, we’re not just being asked about a job we aspire to have, but the title we want to hold. Or maybe we’re being asked who we want to become and the qualities we want to mirror.

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All of this has really pushed me to pay attention to my current and past leaders. It's opened my mind up in becomeing more aware of how they've managed and led their teams, their own businesses, my work, and led me as someone just starting off in her career. I'm someone who is a very eager, energetic, and excited individual. I have a lot of ideas alot of creativty and at times I get super passionate about things when maybe it's just not my place or honestly worth my energy. While I think this is one of my best qualities that sets me apart from others, I think at times it can be one of my biggest drawbacks.

When reflecting on the leaders I've worked with, I've not only taken a deeper understanding to look at their values, their strengths, behaviors, and habits, but it has also challenged me in a way where I've had to think a bit deeper into who I am as a indiudual.

Thinking about the leaders I've been able to work with has made me reflect on the times and the moments where I felt uninspired. The times when I was stressed or burnt out. The times when I was curious about a new business opportunity, or the times when I simply had a shit ton of questions to ask them. How did my leaders choose to respond to me, my personality, my questions, or my work? While all of these questions focus on what leaders say and do, what I appreciated the most was always how my leaders chose to respond to me and how they made me feel in some of those moments.

To me, what sets leaders apart from "bosses" are the ones who never make individuals feel less than. The ones who are able to bring you feedback in contrucitive way. The ones that make time to check in on you. Leaders inspire others. And they sure as heck never make any individual feel out of place.The defining line between bosses and leaders for me was the ones that never made me feel like I was a challenge.

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As I’ve begun to notice these things with the leaders I've worked with, I've also become more aware of the qualities I really admire in those individuals and what I'd even like to mirror as a leader one day.

It has also caused me to become more aware of some qualities in some leaders that I also don’t necessarily want to mirror either. Or the steps I'd personally take in handling certain situations with individuals I lead to make sure I have their best interests at heart. It's not about me, it's about the people I'm leading and inspiring.

Because I’ve evaluated the scenarios I’ve experienced with leaders and bosses, I've looked back at moments where I was a leader and where I know I couldve done better. Things like how I wish I had taken the time give feedback to one of the members on my team on her work. Taken the time to give her just a bit more attention instead of focusing on "getting the post up". While I know it's one thing, I think about if that were me, how I would've felt and how I would've appreciated it if my leader took just a little bit more time to offer me her two cents.

All of these thoughts, mind notes, reflections, and the awareness I've been inclined to have have really made me think about what I want to do in the future and who I want to be. Not a job, not a title, not a position. But what values are important to me so I can lead like those who led me?

As we get older, the question "what do you want to be when you grow up" changes. It's become more specific to a role, an industry, a title, a company, etc. In a sense, it frames the question as: what do you want to accomplish in your life, based on a title or description?

However, maybe when we’re being asked these questions is not about what role or title we aspire to accomplish; maybe we’re being asked a question that can challenge us to think deeper about the people before us who held those titles. The people whose values, mindsets, habits, and practices inspired us. The qualities we want to mirror. Because those people may have impacted us in a way where we felt safe, seen, and valued, and we want to do the same for those who were once in our shoes.