How my mindset has shifted when it comes to fitness, food, and self-care.

For as long as I could remember, I've always struggled with the relationship I've had with myself and the meaning of what "healthy" was. From negative self-talk to my perfectionistic ways to how I viewed what discipline should look like, the definition of what "healthy" meant to me was something I could never quite grasp or get right.

Food, exercise, wellness, how I took care of myself, my mindset, and all things that are bundled with what the meaning of "healthy" means consumed my life and my daily routines in more ways than I probably would like to admit. My relationship with fitness, food, and how I took care of my body has never really been the best.

In eighth grade, I struggled with a severe eating disorder that resulted in me checking into an outpatient treatment facility in Chicago. I went from living a full, lively, and carefree childhood to intensive family therapy every week and at times twice. This was that life moment that shook me.

All my freedom was taken away - not just the freedom from picking what I wanted for breakfast or lunch, or the ability to play sports I loved, but my freedom was taken away from my mind. The freedom our mind gives us to experience all the amazing events and memories life offers to us. I missed out. I missed out because of the consuming things my eating disorder voice told me constantly.

While I've "recovered," that voice in my head is something is still there. A voice that, unfortunately, I'm not sure will ever go away. And while yes, my relationship with food has improved or changed over the years, it's something that has always been a constant up-and-down cycle.

Now, as a rising senior in college, I'm navigating a whole new era of pressure. The pressures from the world that post grads get to find a stable job, a job that pays well, a job that has good benefits, or literally just a freaking job. It's one thing after another, I swear.

However, since living in Chicago, my mindset has shifted, and my views on life have evolved. I've been able to explore more and explore a lot. I've experienced things that made me uncomfortable but yet pushed me outside my comfort zone, allowing me to grow. I've met so many new people working in different industries, I learned from those people, gained a great amount of hands-on experience and knowledge for my job that I LOVE, all while exploring the uniqueness of a Midwest city like Chicago has to offer. I also people watched - and I people watched a lot. I watched people just living.

I saw all these people, not popular or pretty or weird or cool, just people. People living their lives. People who work their corporate 9-5s, couples who go out for date night at the hottest restaurant trending on tiktok, parents taking their kids to the park for a sceduled play date, creatives meeting another creative at a coffee shop to brainstorm ideas, happy hour happenings, and women who go to workout out classes becuase they actually enjoy them.

One of the best things that exploring the city has allowed me to do is try out and take up all the free classes studios offer here. I've done so many fun workout classes that have left me feeling energized, empowered, and confident when starting my day. Like I said, my relationship with fitness has always been the struggle of an uphill battle, but these classes have helped to shift my mindset in such a positive way.

I see women who are there for the community that the workout class gives them. What features the studio and the instructors provide women with? Women are there for more than just the goal of looking a certain way or achieving a certain body type. Women are there to feel motivated, empowered, and uplifted. There's more to scheduling and attending their workout than just the end-all goal of looking a certain way or what their mind thinks a "perfect body" will give them. Because there's more to life and certainly more to moving your body than achieving a certain look.

I've noticed that great instructors are the ones who bring a positive energy to the studio, creating a safe and light space for the whole class. They help women boost their self-confidence, motivate, and energize women to feel their absolute best.

This was the "ahhh ha" moment for me. A moment where a light bulb went off in my mind, the moment where my mindset shifted, where I thought, "wait wow okay, working out and moving our bodies isn't all about looking a certain way." It's not all about the intensity the workout is formatted to give, the amount you sweat, the discipline you have, the routine of it you've made, or the goal of aiming to look a certain way. It's about moving your body in a way that makes YOU feel good. An environment that you can actually enjoy. A class you can actually get excited about attending because it brings you happiness, versus dreading the moment you have to put on your sneakers.

And now don't get wrong, not every workout you go to is going to have you running up to the front door, smiling from ear to ear, to be the frist one in class, but there soemhting to be said about moving your body in way youll enjoy instead of something you have to force yourself to do.

Now, I don't think that my mindset has completely changed to where I'm one hundred percent "better" or however you would label it, but my horizons have expanded. I look at moving my body in a way that will genuinely bring me joy. I look at the goal of moving my body in many ways, versus just one goal that is aiming to achieve a certain look. I view it as what makes me feel good, where I feel supported, and where I feel most at peace.

Because there is more life and you than looking a certain way.